Rephraseology

Negation fails us at the most non-opportune times
The atrophy of language, the destruction of anguish
Reducibility is not an illusion – remember that and you’ll be fine
Well, that’s not the whole story, but let’s not dwell on details
Because then what prevails? The non-big-picture,
that is, nobody winning, that is, everybody not quite winning,
which is not exactly nihilism but it’s not exactly far off.
Permissible hyphens have been known to let us down
In other words, not-up, unsatisfied

But chances are you never were.
Last time I broke down and cried
it was not about you, which is to say,
your part in it was small, which is to say, you didn’t factor in at all,
Which is to say – who the fuck am I kidding?
My handwriting’s too small. Non-adequate. Failure in all its forms.
Morphologies one might say.
Or not. You learn how to settle for what you’ve got.
Bad aphorisms never excuse good aphorisms.
Or is it the other way around?
Un-profound.

I guess you’re not exactly letting me down.

Are things really that pathetic?
I wouldn’t call this feeling un-energetic—no, it’s more like
anti-anti-enthused, i.e. not quite giving shit, i.e. radiant hopelessness,
i.e. the anesthesiology of the English language
All of which are better than not feeling un-used.
Token phrases are not really interesting,
which differs not unimportantly from
really uninteresting, like heterogeneity, like fracture, like liminality,
which, when you think about it, are not entirely un-ridiculous terms.
Falling in love with someone who doesn’t return the feelings will not
kill you
In fact, it may not even make you weaker, which is not unlike
certain Marine hypotheses
which may or may not point directly to
everything-that’s-wrong-with-the-entire-fucking-world.

The day I got into a non-mediocre law school I called at 3 in the morning
to tell you that I’m not exactly un-in-love with you,
which is to say, I’m not apathetic,
or in other words, Fine! I still love you
Though still implies continuity, i.e. non-novelty,
i.e. more than just random emotional outbursts made up at 2:45 AM

[It’s not easy to come to the realization that rules of thumb aren’t really rules at all, much less thumbs,
much less the two combined ]

Unfortunately, increased syllabic content won’t mitigate the pain.
In fact, it’s probably the opposite
Screw it, I abstain,
i.e. not participate,
i.e. you think you know but you have no idea, i.e. shit!

In this world of negatives, how can it be that you have no opposite?